Tory Hoke

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Nolan’s Catwoman

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This is the image they released for Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman in the upcoming Dark Knight Rises.

It annoys me.

It’s not that she is posing (she has settled into the classic contrapposto with spine twist that allows the butt and bosom to be viewed at the same time. Because this is a posture one would never enter into except for the benefit of the onlooker, one presumes at this moment Catwoman had nothing else on her to-do list, which is boring and sad.) Posing is annoying and impedes storytelling as sure as a salad bar impedes a buffet line.

It’s not that she has ears, although I’ve never met a headband that didn’t give me a headache nor a pair of sunglasses that would stay put on top of my head.

It’s not that she has long, loose hair, which is like wearing a great big handle on your head for enemies and straps to catch hold of. I understand certain hair flinging as a concession to aesthetics, but it must be minimized, e.g. movie Katniss may sport peripheral-blocking bangs, but even Avengers‘ Black Widow got a bob.

It’s not that she’s wearing six-inch heels, although these look like they’d be a bad choice for walking two blocks to a car, much less having a good burgle. (Note that she doesn’t have to wear these stupid high-highs when boarding her deathbike:)

It’s not that she has no trigger discipline:

It’s that the non-character character that all of these aspects represent is BAD STORYTELLING — not to mention anathema to the rest of the movie Chris Nolan seems to want to make.

Compare the still of Bane, all gritty and contrasty and stuff, looking like he wants to do things and feel ways about stuff. Love him or hate him or find him unintelligible, you got to admit he’s a character.

Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman got to wear stilettos and a vacuum-sealed suit because she inhabited a world of penguin pallbearers and Christopher Walken in eyeliner. Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman inhabits this world:

And treating her otherwise is just careless.

I’m concerned that the tendency to dress her up and pose her going is to introduce suck to Dark Knight Rises, and people are going to be like “Waaah, Anne Hathaway is bad and chicks ruin good action movies!!!1!” when really the deal is “Waah, bad storytelling is bad and ruins good action movies!!!1!”

That is all the Interweb brings to me today.

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