Tory Hoke

Essays, art, and comics of the unexpected

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Three Perfect Foods

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Day 1: An Overview

(Experience this as a TikTok.) “Play is the work of childhood.” – Jean Piaget “or children, play is serious learning.” – Mr. Rogers Adult learning is

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I have them.

They are cheap, nutritious, lazy, vegetarian* and tasty. I dare you to find an objection to these foods. I DARE YOU.

(*I’m not, but I find vegetarianing dovetails with other interests, like cheap and lazy. When I make beans I don’t even have to wash my hands when I’m done. TAKE THAT, STEAK!)

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CROCK POT BEANS

Bean Pre-Soak procedure: Take big container. Fill 1/3 up with beans. Fill rest with water. Soak overnight in fridge. In morning, drain and refill with water. Soak all day in fridge. Double soak reduces musical consequences of beans. Drain and use, or pat dry and pour in baggies and freeze until needed. (Thanks to friend and fellow bean enthusiast Josie, who also provided this link to Tips to Stretch Your Food Dollar)

Put pre-soaked beans in crock pot.
Add half a bottle of Stubb’s Beef Marinade (contains soy)
Cook on high overnight.

YOU JUST MADE BEANS.

If you have turkey bacon in the fridge threatening to go bad, you can chop it up with kitchen shears and cook it with the beans.

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FROZEN BANANAS

Did you can make a rich, creamy ice cream by blending frozen bananas? Unfortunately frozen bananas are hard to blend, and I am lazy.

Take banana.
Freeze it.

THE LAZY MAKES IT TASTE BETTER.

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MANGO SALAD

Take greens (I find the “Ruby Red” mix lasts a freaky long time in the fridge)
Rip up the greens into smaller, more-dignified-to-eat pieces.
Chop mango
Chop avocado
Take cherry tomatoes and chop in half if you have a hard time eating cherry tomatoes without spritzing your dinner partner.
Combine.

YOU NOW HAVE SALAD.

I will add pictures when I have some. Unfortunately I am no food photographer and they may be poor advertising.

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