Tory Hoke

Essays, art, and comics of the unexpected

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Death of Sexy 2009

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(Experience this as a TikTok.) “Play is the work of childhood.” – Jean Piaget “or children, play is serious learning.” – Mr. Rogers Adult learning is

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It’s that magical time of year! Time for HEINOUS COSTUMES.

These are from Love, Fifi, which is a ladywear store I like a lot. Most of their costumes are pretty fun, but they have like, two hundred, and they can’t all be winners:


Headpiece unbearably itchy in 3... 2...

This is an outfit for that special occasion that you want to show a lot of skin and be kind of chilly and uncomfortable but not actually be sexy at all. Actually, given the model’s expression, the more appropriate scenario would be some kind of group-theme costume situation that somehow forced a hot lady to be Frankenstein (“But Jeff has to be the Creature from the Black Lagoon — he has the contact lenses!”; and she was like, “FINE. But only if I can do it hotly.”

I. Am. So confused.

The appropriate scenario for dressing as a sexy watermelon is… um… uhhhh…

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