Wheat

For a variety of reasons, I haven’t eaten wheat in about a year. For a variety of reasons, I had a coupla bowls of wheat-based cereal for lunch yesterday, and it made me SLEEPY AS HECK.

I was so sleepy! It was redonkulous. I felt fine before lunch, albeit hongry, perhaps for some cereal, and then after I was MAD UNCONSCIOUS. I had to apply two Diet Dr Peppers and some push-ups in the bathroom to get regulated a couple of hours later.

Plus when I first gave up the wheat, about day three I noticed a freaky increase in my energy level. Like HIGH ON LIFE freaky. It was pretty cool.

Plus I never used to be able to get up when my alarm clock went off. Now sometimes I wake up before it, and I generally feel like a human being when it’s time to get up (instead of an angry, semiconscious shuffle-monster.)

So I don’t know if this is my weird inbred white-people genes or what, but I invite everybody to quit eating wheat for three days and see what happens.

Here are some tasty complex carbs that do not make me sleepy:

• Rice
• Beans (are they carbs or protein? They are both. OH MAN BEANS RULE.)
• Potatoes
• Oats