I went to an incredibly awesome screening last night, but in the interest of protecting the innocent here I shan’t mention its name. Instead I have a tale of shame to share.
Quick sidebar — you ever notice how sometimes a person with a tale of shame will sort of flagellate themselves by telling it whenever the subject of the shame comes up? This is why you can never say “Bill Maher” in my presence, lest ye have to feign interest while I punish myself by telling my Bill-Maher-related shame story again.
Anyhoo. That was actually on topic, ’cause at the end of the show some famous people affiliated with the screening came out to say hey to everybody, much to our surprise and delight. And I remembered the Bill Maher Rule TM, which is, “the nicest thing you can do for famous people is leave them alone.” So I was careful not to clamor for the attention of any of the famous people, even though I could totally have reached out and touched one at least once. And maybe snipped off a bit of his hair and run away with it. Though I would never do that.
So, with the Bill Maher Rule firmly in place, I was prepared to leave the theater like a good L.A. citizen, sans effusion, handshake or bit-of-hair. Then ho! Some of the famous people were lingering and permitting people to take photos! I saw an opportunity to reward my famous-people-seeking without inconveniencing the famous people themselves. Everyone wins, right? Right?
Couple of problems with that. Not only were the house staff trying to get us to leave so they could start the next screening, but a MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR was trying to get through. Even with a staffer helping him, he was having a hard time getting through the crowd.
Was I in that man’s way? Maybe. Was I contributing to the crowd and mentality that blocked his passage? Definitely.
I blocked a man in a wheelchair so I could take a crummy flash photo of some famous people who wanted to go home.
So as I evaluate my behavior last night, I am a mite disappointed. I am sorry, man in a wheelchair. I am sorry, staffers. I am sorry, famous people. I let you down.
I will do better next time.
I will invoke the Wilshire-Beverly Rule, which is “the nicest thing you can do for fellow fans is go home.”
