No.
No no no.
No.
I suppose a cheese pizza facial did not make the sexy cut.
Ironically (or intuitively?) I think a Freddy Krueger with pants would be a lot sexier. It would look way cooler, and you wouldn’t have to hold in your womanly curves with your free hand all night.
Plus that fedora is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. I feel personally affronted by the awfulness of that hat, as if someone had the option of a proper fedora, which looks totally tasty on a woman, and was like, no, no, I need some terrible Party City number with a plastic brim immeds kthx.
Is there a Ministry of Hat Crimes? THERE SHOULD BE.
