Tory Hoke

Essays, art, and comics of the unexpected

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Casting Call 8

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Day 1: An Overview

October 3, 2022

(Experience this as a TikTok.) “Play is the work of childhood.” – Jean Piaget “or children, play is serious learning.” – Mr. Rogers Adult learning is

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Watch me try to keep my politics out of my Casting Call.


The blond versions of each, anyway.
Jessica Simpson could be in here, too.

Does this mean in four years Dean will also
be tongue-kissing Karl Rove?
When I see my beautiful wife slandered
in South Carolina… I just go BERSERK!

I ain’t hatin’. Dude’s wrinkly, is all.
Sidebar: My sister’s a doctor, so it’s
not all glee and cobbler at the Hoke house
about Edwards’ nomination. But still —
the dude really did come up from nothing,
won some incredible cases, and his platform is decently
progressive. All my dirty hippies sing with me:
“You can’t… always get… what you want…
but if you try sometimes… you just might find…
You get what you NEED!”


It’s like a Mason-Dixon mirror.

I do a pretty good vocal impression of Mira Sorvino, but I guess it’s not much use here.

It pains me because I think Snape is the hottness. Brad Dourif — not since Alien Resurrection.

Doozer sticks and radishes are the new Atkins!


On a vaguely related note, does “kicking screaming gucci little piggy” really mean the Spice Girls?


I can’t believe I hadn’t put this one up yet. These two may be the same person. You’d think SNL would get more mileage out of this.

Only today have I realized that Dominique Swain is not the Orbit Gum Girl. I am so faced.

All three of these women bear resemblance to a friend of mine, although Brooke Burns has been edited for content in order to achieve this look. (To the tune of “Macho Man”:) Not your, not your no-o-o-ose! That snub nose… is not yo-our nose…

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Comics: Rare Words

Comics: Sneaky VFX

Comics: Pure Silliness

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