I Need a Job
 I need YOU to get me hired. |
Probably my casual little blog isn’t the best place to go begging for a job, but it’s here and I can, so why not?
What I need:
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I`m a software developer by trade. I just haven’t been able to find a part-time position to accomodate my odd hours. I would love to do programming or consulting projects. I miss it.
Click for my resume (as a Word document)
Contact information has been removed from this copy for my protection. I will provide a complete copy and references upon request.
What else I can offer:
- I type 80 WPM and make killer coffee.
- I have experience as a writing tutor, as well as in copy-editing and technical writing.
- Thanks to patient training from several friends, I am up to snuff in food preparation. I will cook you a meal like a crazy fool.
- I don’t have certification as yet, but I`m a skilled amateur massage therapist.
If you find me a job lead that results in my employment, I will give you $50. I know that’s not a head-spinning amount of money, but it’s all I can pony up right now. This also works retroactively — I got a tip from Stagger Lee’s brother (via Stagger Lee) a few weeks ago, and if it pans out I intend to fulfill this bargain for her/him/whoever wins Indian leg wrestling for it.
Give me any advice/leads/mocking via email or the talkback below.
Whaddaya say? If this works, I`m going to try it for dating as well.
you know, what i should do is just give you his number because he is always looking for another job. my mom says he`s working construction and working at the chop house too…
Have you tried monster.com? As for your dating life, there is an lds site at http://www.ldslinkup.com. But the internet is a meager source for dating, you might as well try real life too. Then you won`t get fake pictures/fake personalities/a date with someone 2000 miles away. -dylock@hotmail.com
Heh heh. monster.com is cool, and I`ve been checking it regularly, but I find it`s mostly full-time and semi-full-time stuff. I`m going to follow up on some ads from the local paper today — the funny thing is how underqualified I am for the things I want to do. Heh heh heh. I am ridiculous.
Also, I`m afraid an LDS dude would be really, really disappointed with me, like the first time I order a vodka tonic. It is my determination that the kind of dude I`d like to date wouldn`t be looking for dates online, but they might have FRIENDS that get online, and there you are.
i might be able to pay you around $20/hour to help me write a content management system. i`m freelancing and have too much work (for once) and need it done pretty soon. i might also have some leads on other projects that we could collaborate on. i need someone with solid PHP/MySQL skills. i`ve emailed the address in your resume, just posting here to let you know. i`m near Chapel Hill. thanks.
I can`t help you with the J-O-B, but good luck. As for the dating thing, I`ve had a girlfriend application on my site for months and it certainly isn`t working for me. The good thing is I wrote it up and included it as mostly a joke, plus it`s not on the main site and I`ve never alluded to it in my blog, so my fragile ego isn`t terribly disturbed. However, you`re pretty cuteandsmartandfunny, so maybe you`d have better luck. Also I just wanted to say your humor test r0x0r. I don`t think it could have been more dead-on. Crazy. I`m a sophisticate and stuff with a 9/10 active humor rating. No, I`m not masturbating, I`m stroking my ego. thx.
Have you tried craigslist.org? You can select the nearest metropolitan city and there are new listings updated daily in different categories including part time.
Craigslist is very cool and a lot of fun to surf. Umm — now that I look at it again, I realize looking at the “Charlotte” listings would be a lot smarter for me than the “Raleigh” listings. Thank you for the reminder. I`m having good luck — thank all of you very much for your input.
A pity you aren`t further north. I need someone with pretty much your qualifications (esp. killer coffee)….. but I suppose commuting to the greater-NJ/NY area is out of the question.
speaking of the job thang, i need your help: what do you know about copy editing, using quark express on MacOs (i`m currently tasked out to the fort stewart/3d ID newspaper, trying to un-rat-fuck their computers)?
Ooh — Quark was what we used to edit the newspaper at school (the first time), and I was an editor there, too (though I`d have to refresh myself about the right marks to make and things, not that I was real diligent about that the first time.) So, hell`s yeah, I can help you out. I think.