As I was re-reading Bruce Campbell’s autobiography, If Chins Could Kill, I was reminded of the fact that Bruce Campbell was thisclose to being cast as The Phantom. Holy crap. I`m not sure why they decided against him — not only would it have had a built-in cult base to supplement the WWII fogey and little kid Phantom fans, but it would have been a better movie.
Now I know Bruce Campbell is well capable of being straight (The Ice Rink) and earnest (Bubba Ho Tep; but what The Phantom needed desperately, with its Mortal Kombat-level story and special effects (and the Mortal Kombat villain — OMG typecast much Johnny Tsunami?!; was a heaping helping of the Campbell special — gleeful, ingratiating self-awareness. He would have brought out the Buffy in Kristy Swanson and the Velma in Catherine Zeta Jones. He would have been deft with exposition, sly with humor and swash with buckles. And he woulda been smokin` hot.
Hey, you’re not Billy Zane WTF?!
Kristy, I like to be Straight and Earnest with the ladies…
Please understand I`m not Captain Stalker of the Stalkatron 3000 — I’ve tried to diversify my fangirlness with Vincent D`Onofrio and Jeff Goldblum, but the former seems too self-fascinated (Velocity of Gary blecch) and the latter kinda hit the wall. There’s also Jon Stewart, but he’s just too rockin` to be believed. I think on weekends he must give kittens cancer or something.
Anyway, now that I’ve made a reference to Long Kiss Goodnight, you know who else would have made a good Phantom? Samuel L. Jackson. Think about it.
